Bathing Suit SOS

So if the baby’s growing in my belly, why is my butt expanding?

I asked my friend Betsy, a Pilates instructor who looked like an orange on a toothpick when she was pregnant with twins. “It’s the body’s way of staying in proportion,” she explained. Sort of like a counterweight? Hmm. My belly’s still has a long way to grow. Greeeaaat.

This matter is complicating my desperate search for a swimsuit that will see me through the summer. (Four months along, I’m somewhere between beer gut and canteloupe.) Problem is, most maternity bathing suits are, by my definition, unwearable: either 2cute n’ frilly (little skirts), vampy (zebra trim), or just plain hideous (tent dress). Speedo doesn’t make maternity suits, and so one is left to (A) let it all hang out in a bikini (how Demi Moore), or (B) attempt to cover it up with a sartorial absurdity that’s about as effective as hiding a watermelon under a doily.

I see a business opportunity, ya’ll.

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July 12, 2007. Tags: , . Pregnancy.

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